dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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