I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
