walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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