Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
