There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
