is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
