two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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