Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
