i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
