if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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