What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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