And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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