I don't remember. Are we still dating?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
