lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
