I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
