the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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