If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
