i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
