don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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