i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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