Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
