Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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