Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
