I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
do herpes really smell.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
