You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
