we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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