Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
