It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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