is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
