No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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