Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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