I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
