what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
