And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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