At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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