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She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
