I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
