i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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