yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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