My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We talked him into tasing himself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
