i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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