Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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