Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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