Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
