...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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