...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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