i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
