we have pet lesbian snakes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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