i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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