I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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