My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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