Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize