C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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