she looked like the before picture.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
