How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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