shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
