the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
