Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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