If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively