she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
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i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol