i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?