Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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  (517): Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/y7ox
  Replies (47) Good night (4132) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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  (404): Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle. http://tfl.nu/2aue
  Replies (16) Good night (3226) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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  (704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy
  Replies (10) Good night (3948) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.

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  (954): thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much. http://tfl.nu/ll22
  Replies (27) Good night (7526) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  bring money and cleavage

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  (978): bring money and cleavage http://tfl.nu/w9ou
  Replies (20) Good night (6023) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2695) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time

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  (218): I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time http://tfl.nu/ndy7
  Replies (7) Good night (2772) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover

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  (410): why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover http://tfl.nu/9q3l
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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  (281): I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever. http://tfl.nu/j15t
  Replies (5) Good night (1970) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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  (513): Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now. http://tfl.nu/fv9l
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.

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  (407): I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is. http://tfl.nu/ixfo
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

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  (585): Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit http://tfl.nu/5lf7
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"

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  (613): Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie" http://tfl.nu/n4uh
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad

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  (502): like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad http://tfl.nu/fybr
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (284)

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