I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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