So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
