Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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(215): i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter http://tfl.nu/d1e8

Replies (64) Good night (829) Bad night (3011)
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(325): View more from Texas

Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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(325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5

Replies (13) Good night (3319) Bad night (1223)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

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(978): I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea http://tfl.nu/kyal

Replies (28) Good night (3614) Bad night (1262)
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(716): View more from New York

strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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(716): strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them http://tfl.nu/3anm

Replies (10) Good night (3303) Bad night (1708)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh

Replies (12) Good night (922) Bad night (4214)
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(520): View more from Arizona

The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.

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(520): The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears. http://tfl.nu/pc9j

Replies (11) Good night (2688) Bad night (855)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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(509): Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns http://tfl.nu/s30q

Replies (11) Good night (1836) Bad night (812)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs

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(321): I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs http://tfl.nu/bews

Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (1951)
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(619): View more from California

Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?

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(619): Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened? http://tfl.nu/i6wm

Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (546)
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(917): View more from New York City

hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

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(917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0

Replies (9) Good night (1953) Bad night (655)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance

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(732): got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance http://tfl.nu/oovm

Replies (8) Good night (2180) Bad night (603)
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(858): View more from California

Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

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(858): Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm http://tfl.nu/x3tv

Replies (9) Good night (1670) Bad night (472)
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(765): View more from Indiana

So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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(765): So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30. http://tfl.nu/7nzj

Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (592)
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(410): View more from Maryland

We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.

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(410): We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with. http://tfl.nu/mg3p

Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (209)
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(514): View more from Quebec

The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.

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(514): The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap. http://tfl.nu/k7gv

Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (283)

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