Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.