Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
