So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
