I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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