i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude i'm inner monologue high
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize